Mel says I am a changed person this week. Not grumpy or depressed, but positive and assertive. For that I get smiles and love. I hadn't noticed myself, but the little orange pills must be kicking in. I really hadn't noticed, but she has. She is once again the joy of my life.
I read a eulogy at my friend's funeral, without feeling like an imposter. I have renewed friendships and feel confident in sharing memories and making invitations to stay.
I survived a disciplinary at work by being assertive. I understand my card is marked, but don't actually care. They can't kill me, as far as I know. I can threaten to resign, but they wont accept it.
Work stuff has slipped into perspective: I am not on my own, we are all fighting in the dark, realisation of which has cast off 12 months of panic and resulting stress and depression. The stuff I have produced is at least equal to what ever else is going on. I am not afraid of the telephone, or of email. Why I let it get to me, I no longer know or care.
I can gee my poor unemployed graduate of a son along.
I am not stupid, lost or incapable. I get respect. I can strut my stuff. It has been a long time. Have I just grown up?
I shall probably be unbearable
12 comments:
Please, please, please keep taking the tablets - and good luck in your new found life
Love & hugs the Merfolk
TROUTY SAYS:
Crikey. You really DO sound like a new person. Good for you.
Events can and do help to put life into perspective.
If recent events have done this for you then it won't have been in vain.
Onwards and upwards!!
You have picked me up this morning with your honesty. I think if you scratch the surface, we are all facing personal struggles to one degree or another. These are testing times for many of us and by sharing our troubles it keeps them down to size.
It was wonderful to see you and other old friends of my dear brother and thank you for your tribute and kind support during such a sad time. Keep smiling and loving your nearest & dearest.
Be strong, my thoughts are with you.
By the way, I know we don't put on suits very often, but I'm sure it wasn't his wedding. ( Must be the happy pills)
David would have enjoyed pointing that out I'm sure!! x
Well, as David would also have been pleased to point out, 'It's In You'.
The pills have helped you to get to where you need to be, but it's YOU and not the pills that will keep you there.
Mate, I'm so chuffed for you!
Excellent news, my friend; you're seeing yourself and your life with new, true eyes. (And don't worry, we'll keep your unbearability within bounds!)
This is great news, my friend. Long may it continue.
As Nelson Mandela said:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
So, Hutters, let us embrace all that is great as our lasting tribute to Dave.
I don't think it is the tablets doing their work. I think you have discovered your inner resources.
Lucy x
It does feel like that, Lucy. And I will.
Yay *hugs for Andy
Very glad you're feeling happier and you've found your inner strength :) Keep taking them! And keep up the happy blogging :)
Wow. This is very positive and upbeat. This has made my day!
Keep it up :)
Good stuff, matey!
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