Idiot

On our usual shopping morning, after the library and the church Christmas fair (and raffle) Mellie discovered a new art gallery, where she purchased £50 or more of jewellery for Christmas. I helpfully put the little bag in a larger bag in the shopping trolley (she has got used to the trolley now, it has Guggenheim type flowers on (ie not Old Lady Tartan) and has become a vital aid in helping us not drive 200 yards into town). When we got to the greengrocers, I got the bags out, sorted one for the veg, and got on with choosing what we needed. The trolley was left outside the shop. Later we went to Smiths, (trolley left outside)and then the Co-op. As we got to the checkout, it appeared we had no more shopping bags, which was odd, as one of them should have contained the bag with the jewellery.
Panic ensued, including tears and blame. (Mellie's Facebook comment would have included "I hope you enjoyed my Christmas presents, you thieving chav bastard" this was one of her first thoughts: oh the wonders of Modern Life). I hastily went back to town, and at the greengrocers were the missing bags, including the jewellery, on full view on the outside fruit and veg display. Obviously I had left them there and got distracted. Returning to the Co-op, the tears were in full flow, but hastily halted. Nor was I suitably chastised for being an idiot, such is Mellie's loveliness.

Later, while I was cooking veggie bacon for my lunch, the phone rang, I got it, against my better judgement, but it turned out Mel had won the church raffle (A Christmas Pud). In the meantime, the veggie bacon caught alight and was flaring up a good'un.

Just proves it is made of cardboard.