Challenge!

After an evening out, try catching the train home, then when getting off, contrive to miss the step, ending up with one leg hanging between the train and platform, the other twisted on the surface of the platform. Go on, try it. See? You can't.
Well I can. I did it last night.
Mel and the conductor seemed most distressed as they picked me off the floor. The conductor eventually rang the bell for the train to depart, while Mel and I limped home, where I inspected the damage:

At 3 am I awoke in searing pain, and twitched and moaned until 5, when Mel drove to Tescevil's to buy Ibuprofen. At 8am things were no better, so we drove to A&E, where the nice doctor felt my knee, and kindly wheeled me himself to the X-ray room, suspecting a broken patella. He couldn't find a break (although it feels broken- nothing seems to stop the pain). However, I have now acquired a sachet of morphine, an attractive support bandage, a pair of crutches and an instruction not to flog the morphine down on Torquay harbourside. And with a bit of training, Mel could make a very good nurse, although she is a bit strict, especially when she gangs up with my daughter.