Preparing for Machu Picchu

This object

Is not a trendy phone or MP3 player. It prompted M to hide it in a drawer when my ex wife visited yesterday, as M thought it looked like something an old lady might use for personal hygiene reasons, and she suspected I might attempt to demonstrate it in a way that may have made people unhappy. Which was quite close to the truth as it is actually a portable bidet.

It is my attempt to use less bog roll on the trek to Machu Picchu, which takes four days, with no toilets, which presumably makes it look like a French roadside layby. There is a perfectly good train apparently, but taking that is "not the point" according to my Latin American son. The bidet has not actually been roadtested yet, but it certainly creates a healthy spray.
As for my ex wife visiting, everything was cool: she saw her daughter and grandchildren, and I didnt poison her or her other daughter (not mine, this one goes to Summerhill in Suffolk, which I could never afford, even if I wanted to) with fish and chips unlike last time when they spent the time rolling in agony on the bath room floor all night. Ahem.