That's a Relief

I have been really giving myself shit for the last couple of weeks over a couple of work events, the sort of grief that troubles you most waking minutes. I think it is a combination of feeling a bit of an imposter, and having a touch of depression (and not wanting to do anything about it).
First was the awful Job Evaluation which went so badly. I have tried to put off redoing it, hoping I would slip under the radar, and it was working until Wednesday. I talked to my boss about it and he was aggrieved by the whole affair of his own JE, so at least I had some sympathy. But I kept worrying about it, but still put off redoing all 34 pages, until I got the inevitable reminder email, which forced to me to get off my arse, check my notes of the original interview, and redo the swine in a morning. I shan't send it off for a while just to piss the bastard off, but at least I have done it in what I hope is an acceptable format ie forced the square peg into the round hole
The other matter is my appointment with the Director and his gang of Assistant Directors. I am supposed to address them with regard to the Council's Equalities agenda, as the Department's rep on the Equalities Group of the Council. Twice I have managed to miss their meetings (it would have helped to have been told that my presence is required and no I didnt recieve an agenda for this meeting, or the others, so it really isnt my fault that I was away for the last two meetings). Nonetheless, snotty emails from Assistant Director and Director dont help one's self confidence. So I have been worrying about this for weeks as well.
I trawled through all the Impact assessments, the Action Plans (my name seems to be against every action, mostly things I have no control over, so enough food there for any incipient paranoia) and convinced myself that with a little tweaking and sweet talk I could keep myself out of the firing line, if anything goes wrong when we get inspected in December. This all went swimmingly - in and out in ten minutes (and a packet of raisins), all happy and reassured. Nonetheless, I have been here too long. I am getting sloppy. I need to move on. There's got to be something good out there that will pay the bills and help me snap out of this.
To add to my relief further, I inspected and wrapped all M's birthday presents last night, and was pleased with a job well done. I hope she likes them.
Not only that, but my mum and dad are down from Sussex today, bringing my Boy with them from his house in Southampton, along with little sister and husband, and neice and nephew, with more family due tomorrow and Saturday. Light at last, at the end of a very gloomy tunnel. I suppose I ought to lighten up myself, and start to enjoy life.