I have been having messages from Very Distant Places asking after my health. Amazing what a network there is. It has been at least a year since it all went quiet when I went into the dining room at my mum's house. OK I am struggling mightily to get off these bloody pills (avoiding the awful Cold Turkey). Yes I don't have a job (are you still listening, you Doocing Idiots? I so wish I had taken out a grievance). Yes I burst into tears randomly. I think about my dad, I think about David, I think about not having a job, I think about missed opportunities, and how I could have done better for my children. Did I mention going to Spitsbergen on my own in 10 days? Yes, I don't recognise it when I get manic. Mental illness is a strange thing when you have it, because you can't see it yourself, you are just there, doing it.
I saw a man sailing up the estuary today, on a little boat. Just the wind carrying him along. More than I could bear. I had to go outside.
5 comments:
Hmph. You became the elephant in the room then. Should've asked for a currant bun.
It's tricky to work out what to say to all that, y'know. Then I realised it doesn't matter what I say, just so long as I say something so you know I've read and understood what you mean. Which I have and do.
Always on your side, bud.
Thank you. You are brighter than a star.
I guess we (me and V) can't really qualify as your buds yet, considering we've met you for about two short moments in about two consecutive days. But hey, that doesn't mean we can't be on your side as well! Keep on truckin' man, hope to meet you some day again.
Don't take the whole world onto your shoulders, Andy.
Now is 'YOU time'. Wallow in it.
Do those things you've never had time for before.
I was once told not to waste my worry on things I couldn't change.
It was good advice.
What's happened in the past can't be changed so leave it alone.
Concentrate on having a great time in Spitsbergen. We all look forward to your stunning photographs. x
Lasse, Marion. Thanks. I hear you
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