Damn! My dad was yesterday diagnosed with a malignant bowel tumour. MRI scan tomorrow. He puts the rapid scan down to a lucky drop out in the appointments calendar, my mum puts it down to the urgency of the case. What a great birthday present for them (hers on Sunday, his next month). Far too early to say what the prognosis is, and far too early to consider the things my mum and I have been thinking (and my dad too, but he is far too private to say). He isnt shrunken, bald or wasted, so it is hard to comprehend.
I am sure he is considering his own mortality, and it provokes me to consider mine. I told him I loved him (and that hasnt happened very often, if ever) but he is "yeah, whateva". Bloody parents. Worse than children. What is there to say? I am certainly not articulate enough to say it.
I am going up to Sussex to see them Saturday (everywhere is "up" from Devon, except Cornwall).
Fuck. Bollocks. Shit.
12 comments:
Have you started to say something and then realised it is a shallow platitude?
Well I did and I will say it anyway, Rosie and I are thinking good thoughts for your dad and for you.
Mermy
(((hugs))) matey
Lots of love to you all from up here, matey. *manly hug*
Oh God. Been there.
You have my number (you DO have my number don't you?) and my bestest vibes.
Much love
M x
Bad news :(
manly hug from me too
Utterly girlie unashamed hug from me - I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Depending on the stage, the prognosis can be pretty good so while it's scary, don't lose your optimism just yet.
(((hugs))). My best wishes to you & your dad & your family.
Regarding the quick scan appointment - you can't necessarily read anything into that. *All* cancer/suspected cancer cases are treated urgently - there are government targets.
Lisa
x
I'm very sorry to hear that Hutters :[
Puts my headaches into perspective!
Fingers crossed here all goes OK and I guess you just have to be strong and supportive for them.
My mum has just been through breast cancer, so I can sympathise with you and she came out the otherside OK, luckily!!!
Dear Andy,
I thought that I'd left a comment on this very sad blog last night but it seems to have disappeared. Trouty said she never saw it last night eithar so being the compluter klutz that I am, I must have pressed the wrong button or aomething.
But don't think that I wasn't thinking ofyou because I was.
Anyway, as you say. F.B. and S.
I like your Dad, he's a decent man and I wish hime a speedy recovery.
Regards to you and yours,
love,
H.
Bad news LH. Just take it as it comes as much as you can.
That's shit news LH...nothing any of us can say will help in the least...
As a mild observation though, once you've reached the stage where you just begin to understand it, love is always really hard to talk about isn't it?
Harder still between parents/children
... really ... been there...
For what it's worth, tell the f*cker...Dad I love you... and then see if the mutual embarassment is difficult enough to be terminal...
I don't know how effective this really is, but I told my mother this after more than half a lifetime of contempt, and it got me a cuddle and a (ok at the time repugnant) sloppy kiss...
Six months later she was unexpectedly dead...at least I got a cuddle...and I suppose she knew that a certain part of her life hadn't been a total f*cking waste...
Sorry, Andy. I can't say more than that.
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